My Marriage After a Baby..and how we prepared our marriage for a baby..

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Though we have only been parents for 6 weeks I have seen a crazy shift in our marriage. There is so much more love...

Most of you know that early in my pregnancy my Husband lost his job and we found ourselves pregnant, jobless and moving in with my mother in law. That experience changed us. There was less love, communication and connection. It was because the one thing that brought us together the most(church..He was a worship pastor and I was a youth leader) was what put our family in a rough situation. We didn't understand but we knew God had a plan.

Our communication suffered and I told my husband that before this baby gets here its important that we are a team. Our communication has to be strong. Especially because after having a baby there is less sleep and while breastfeeding you can get frustrated. We had to learn how to communicate our feelings. I don't feel like postpartum depression is only for the mother but the father too. You are both adjusting to another life being part of yours. We had 6 years to ourselves so you never know the impact of it suddenly being 3 of you can be. I wanted us to talk to our youth pastor who married us, and his wife. They shared with us that what was happening was normal, and shared also how to communicate easier and build our teamwork before the baby arrived.

Don't be afraid to talk to other couples with children about how they kept their marriage going after a kid. Like I said earlier we had a counseling session with our pastor. You can go to counseling and not have issues. It's to also help learn how to avoid petty situations that we can sometimes blow up into bigger ones. We took the time to really dig deep into each others issues and learn from them and grow. Its something you have to do especially talking about how we were raised and what we expect from each other after the baby.
We say what we feel when we feel it.

After the baby came I felt incredibly different towards my husband, there was a large amount of love I have never felt. A different love, a new love. Yes a love that is you're the father of my child but I have never loved him the same way it always grows with our relationship. I don't love him the same way I did when we got engaged. In the first nights of having our son it was like getting to know him all over again. It was like being a teenager on the phone for 4-5 hours straight. We have grown super close, and  I am just falling  for him all over again.  I know in some relationships this is not always the case right after the baby is born so please believe I know how much of a blessing this is, but if its not blissful right now trust me it will be.

My Husband has done an amazing job supporting me on my breastfeeding journey, it was definitely really hard and so he started to stay up with my during and rubbing my back. It helps cause you don't feel alone, and of course we loose sleep together even he has work in the morning. Most of the time I tell him to go ahead and go back to sleep or let him stay asleep if he doesn't happen to wake up with me.

He is on diaper duty and I do the feeding... I love the team work we have built

Now even though things are going great we still have our moments, when one of us is beyond tired and we catch a attitude, which is mostly me with the attitudes, or when I feel he isn't changing the diapers fast enough, or if he doesn't get up when I need him to. Those or normal struggles but you learn so much about yourself and begin to really appreciate each others efforts, small or big.

We haven't had a date night yet, but I am planning one soon, Im not ready for both of us to be away from the baby at the same time yet but date night isn't a option. Our marriage is first and our child is second. Some people may think thats wrong but its how we choose to conduct our life.

God, Marriage, Children.

Well thats I got for you right now , I'll be back next month with (Month 2 on how things are going with the baby, and hopefully we will have had an date night or day and i'll let you all know how that went.

Any questions, I'm a open book so ask away in the comments below. XOXO

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